Who would win...

From a The Register article, but I think it's worth kicking out here.  Who would be the best?

James Bond
Jason Bourne
The Bucaramanga karate school
Naomi Campbell
Ninja assassins
Chuck Norris
Pirates
Shaolin Temple kung fu monks
Steven Seagal
Bruce Willis

Monks/Ninjas/Karate students/Pirates?  No, their advantages are sheer numbers.  Everyone else will first clear out this riff-raff.

Bond?  Bourne?  Willis?  No, they'd need artillery and it's not their style.  Besides, they'll be out of ammo and thus roughly defenseless.

So, we're down to Campbell, Norris, and Seagal.  The men are trained in martial arts.  Campbell has female psychological warfare.