Crap. My WiFi card (Linksys WPC11) died on me, and this puppy's not going to get back up. Now, not only will I need a new laptop, I'll need a new Wifi card, IF it doesn't have integrated WiFi.
If you're installing a Linux OS on a laptop, and you're more hard-core in Linux like me, avoid Ubuntu. It's a more user-friendly Debian, with less software pre-compiled.
And no, this was work related. I still need funds for a new laptop.