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BABYLON ALPHA (CMNN) -- The criminal courts are buzzing today as pirate ships are being hauled in and their crew arrested for multiple counts of robbery, burglary, assult and battery, and conspiracy to perform all the above. Babylon Alpha's Operation Treasure Chest has been sucessful in finding and prosecuting pirate captians wanted by Canmephian police and military.
"Today so far," said Station Captian WS Aquin, "we have apprehended ten crews and over several tons of jewelery, technology, and artifacts among many things. My attorney general, Commander Hangemall, has been sucessful in hir prosecution of these crews and reports all have been given death sentences."
The success of the operation continues to be attributed to the tactics and skill of Babylon Alpha's fighter pilots, the surgical percision of the identification teams, the sexual frustration of each pirate crew, and in some cases, just plain stupidity.
"We had two ships that actually docked with us thinking we were a free port," Aquin reported. "Our MasterOps and the C&C staff were quite calm and let them in only to have them arrested once they landed. They surrendered themselves to our Double-D squad once they realized what was going on."
Security agents were ordered to "go in big," employing a feature of their anatomy to entice criminals out of their ships and into the hands of law enforcement. "Security teams report little difficulty with apprehension. They do report some difficulty getting criminals off their chests, and are resorting to crowbars and WD-40. Needless to say, many of us here are buying stock in those companies." When asked, Captian Aquin demonstrated the average bust size of the deployed teams with hir own body. Inflating to an impressive tripple-O-cup, hir own bust nearly covered hir torso and encroaching on hir waist. However, Captian Aquin handled hir larger equiment with eaze, reminding folks that all staff are trained to handle themselves in such a state.
"Today so far," said Station Captian WS Aquin, "we have apprehended ten crews and over several tons of jewelery, technology, and artifacts among many things. My attorney general, Commander Hangemall, has been sucessful in hir prosecution of these crews and reports all have been given death sentences."
The success of the operation continues to be attributed to the tactics and skill of Babylon Alpha's fighter pilots, the surgical percision of the identification teams, the sexual frustration of each pirate crew, and in some cases, just plain stupidity.
"We had two ships that actually docked with us thinking we were a free port," Aquin reported. "Our MasterOps and the C&C staff were quite calm and let them in only to have them arrested once they landed. They surrendered themselves to our Double-D squad once they realized what was going on."
Security agents were ordered to "go in big," employing a feature of their anatomy to entice criminals out of their ships and into the hands of law enforcement. "Security teams report little difficulty with apprehension. They do report some difficulty getting criminals off their chests, and are resorting to crowbars and WD-40. Needless to say, many of us here are buying stock in those companies." When asked, Captian Aquin demonstrated the average bust size of the deployed teams with hir own body. Inflating to an impressive tripple-O-cup, hir own bust nearly covered hir torso and encroaching on hir waist. However, Captian Aquin handled hir larger equiment with eaze, reminding folks that all staff are trained to handle themselves in such a state.
