I didn't take them for two days.
The first day, I simply forgot. I mean, I knew I had to take them, but filling out the pill caddy on Sunday is something I just hate doing. And, after doing other stuff before doing that, I simply forgot.
It got even easier to forget, today.
I still hadn't filled the caddy and I changed my routine. Instead of grabbing a quick sausage biscuit at McDonalds, I made some oatmeal at home. I stared at my little, empty pill caddy while I ate and, well, I don't remember even thinking about my pills. I think I realized I hadn't taken them while driving to work. (Normally, I take them with my biscuit.)
I got home, cooked dinner, and watched TV.
Saw my empty pill caddy again.
Fuck it, I thought, its too late. I'll just take 'em tomorrow. I'll be fine.
I stood up. The room spun.
I didn't fall, but I went to take my pills. I have the bottles lined up in front of me, now.
I hate taking medications. I've taken meds all my life. Earliest, it was for asthma and allergies. Then I got a prescription for glasses. These days, they're bifocals. And now I take meds that I inhale and snort. I have to take my diabetes meds with food. The rest, for high-blood pressure and cholesterol and low Vitamin-D and low-dose aspirin, I can take at will. I have to keep my dosage of anti-depressants at an even level or there can be pretty serious side-effects I'm told.
I hate all these prescriptions. I hate them so much I can sometimes understand why people just stop taking them. They may help keep you alive and on an even keel but they're also hand-cuffs.
They both free and enslave. My C-PAP machine keeps me breathing at night.
But I still hate it.
I took my full amount, didn't take "extra". But tomorrow morning, I'll take my normal dosage.
Grudgingly, yeah, but I'll take them.
The worst part, I think, is that I know that this will happen again. I think it will happen with growing regularity if I'm not careful. It's easy to only think of the medications as shackles. I have to keep reminding myself that they make me freer than I would be on my own. I have to keep repeating this mantra:
Everyone thinks, sooner or later, they don't need 'em. Or, maybe, they wish they didn't.
But you do.
Take your meds.
That's how it works.
Even sitting here, I'm still dizzy. I guess that's today's price for stupid.